Asleep In The Boat?

MARK 4 35-41
35 On that day, when evening had come, He told them, "Let's cross over to the other side [of the lake]." 36 So they left the crowd and took Him along since He was [already] in the boat. And other boats were with Him. 37 A fierce windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking over the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. 38 But He was in the stern, sleeping on the cushion. So they woke Him up and said to Him, "Teacher! Don't you care that we're going to die?"

39 He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Silence! Be still!" The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 Then He said to them, "Why are you fearful? Do you still have no faith?"

41 And they were terrified and asked one another, "Who then is this? Even the wind and the sea obey Him!"

Alister Begg told this story as good as I have heard. Begg once wrote "more spiritual progress is made through failure and tears than success and laughter." He was absolutely right.

I heard his sermon on Mark 4:35-41 during one of the roughest times of my life. I felt as if Jesus was asleep in the boat. I am even at this moment having trouble with my faith. I am trying to steer my boat through this storm myself. I panic. "Teacher! Don't you care?" Time and time again the answer comes back "Why are you fearful? Do you still have no faith?" I don't know why! I still lack faith.

Divorce, debt and relationships have been like that storm. I have a grip on the wheel. Only the steering wheel isn't hooked up. I am not through the storm yet. When will it end? When can I be happy again? What is going to happen that will make that happen again? I don't know, I just don't know! I panic again and again. I get frustrated and "WHY ME" comes out of my thoughts. My house is being foreclosed on. My debt is killing me. I ache for my kids that see their mommy and daddy get divorced and a family is broken.

My life has been a series of cycles. Ups and downs and ups. Today is a down day. The storm is here tearing up my life again. Just when I think everything is starting head in the right direction and I see that beautiful light, it goes dark. It is dark today...again. But as I said in my earlier blog, God didn't promise a wonderful life. We were to expect the opposite.

The one thing God does promise is that He will prepare us to go through trials. He knows what we can handle and doesn't allow us to go through more than that.

Today I also realized something else. Time and time again the storms have come and I have survived. This may be a down day, week, month or maybe a year, but every time I have suffered though the storm, God has done something great in my life to make it better. This time will be no different. He will get me through it again. If He is preparing me for something more difficult, I will thank Him for preparing me to handle it. No matter how bad the next storm is.

Today I am sad, fearful and lack faith, but I will defeat this. I will be ok. God will see me through. So I have peace through prayer. God has comforted me again. Nothing can be thrown at me I can't handle. I have released the wheel and will let God drive the boat. Unseen, but in total control. In my head I know I will once again be rescued and hear Jesus say "Silence! Be still!"